Manic Mama of 3

A subject that has been much talked about as of late is high functioning anxiety. I related so hard to what these articles were saying that I decided to share with you some insight into my life as a person with high functioning anxiety.

This person can look so normal to you that you would never even know that they were suffering on the inside with high functioning anxiety. It can come across as people that are over achieving at things but really inside they are screaming.

I have so much restlessness that it sometimes consumes me. As a mother, this high functioning anxiety can take over. I feel like there are so many things that I need to do, not enough time to do them in and when I do take them on they need to be done perfectly.

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I send myself into my own little mini panic attack. Some of those panic attacks seem unnecessary to those around me and so they can be brushed off as just having an attitude.

I lash out when it is not the right time to do so just because I feel so overwhelmed. There is nothing else to do in my mind except to run. Whether it be from answering emails to putting off tasks that need to be done, I feel like I just need to get away. I need to get away right then and there.

Negative thoughts are always swirling in my head. Am I good enough? Can I really do all of this? What will people think of me if I fail?

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I excel, or like to think I do, and so when I get confronted with something I feel worthless. Sometimes it can be in a friendship. Other times it can be in a work environment. Even worse, it can happen in my love life.

High functioning anxiety is such a hidden demon. I am so glad to see that people are speaking out about it. It can really look like we are busy people that are getting things done.

We are really nervous people on the inside.

We have nervous ticks. Mine include picking at blemishes on my face or biting my nails that seem justa little bit too long. I have no idea why I do it and I tell myself to stop when I am doing the action. But I don’t. It’s like an uncontrollable urge.

If you look at my messages, you will see some that are just plain unanswered. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s because I don’t want the confrontation. I don’t feel like talking to people right then. The reasoning behind it is pretty unclear.

I have to have a plan. If I don’t have a plan or something falls apart at the last minute, I panic. It’s not a small panic either. It’s like an end of the world panic.

I bet if you look closely, you have someone like this in your life. It’s a silent attack on their souls. They may not even know that they have it, but I bet if they read what ails people with high functioning anxiety, a light will come on. All the while, it appears perfectly calm.

People like me love lists. They love to organize. They like to seriously do anything to keep themselves busy. I can’t just watch TV. There has to be something else being done while I watch. A total feeling of that there is something else I could be accomplishing takes over.

It’s also crazy to think that people with high functioning anxiety love to please people. I think I need to learn to say the word “NO” just a little more often. It’s a pang of not being able to help someone else. It’s the thought that someone will think less of you if you can’t do something.

Having the fear of saying the wrong thing, keeps you silent within your own thoughts a lot of the time. When you finally do speak, you think that no one can possibly care what you have to say. You look to them to see their reactions. 

You totally feel like you are screwing everything up when most of the time you’re not.

It’s having bad thoughts about what could happen all the time. There is nothing to stop them either. You always think the worst case scenario.

High functioning anxiety is needing to make a plan of what to do on your day when you have nothing to do.

You are a social person but feel like you are alone when you go to social gatherings.

Anxiety is one of those things where you need to make sure that you have your emotions in check. If you don’t, it can seriously be the worst. Your mood depends on how much sleep you got the night before, what the temperature is outside, the fact that you didn’t have a certain way of doing things in the morning. It can be anything.

The triggers are something that only the person with the high functioning anxiety can track down.

You can fight the anxiety though.

You can win.

Take some time to stop and relax.

You can totally conquer that list of everything that you want to achieve.

It’s about thinking that you are enough.

The energy that you have is a strength. You can do this. You can win at anything that you put your mind to.

Ignore the things that don’t go right that are not in your control.

Finding peace within yourself and your busy lifestyle is one way to help with coping with high functioning anxiety.

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I am also going to let you in on a little secret. I take supplements. There is absolutely no shame in that.

Taking the supplement 5-HTP has changed my life for the better. It helps better balance my mood. I really believe that I have a Serotonin imbalance somewhere along the line. I also take a Super B Complex. It helps harness my energy that I have inside and I can be productive with it.