Okay, so here it is. My confessions of how I feel. My husband seriously probably gets tired of hearing it, and I KNOW there are other mamas out there that feel the same as me or have been in the same situations before.
I work from home. It’s glorious. I don’t pay for daycare. BUT I do pay for this luxury in headaches. As I am trying to work my 40 hour a week telecommute job, I have my threenager and tiny terror running around causing havoc around me. This is the equivalent to having co-workers that just leave things wherever they feel like it and don’t really help to the productivity.
But they are cute when they want to be, right? Of course. I love them to death and I love that I can have them here with me…most of the time.
I got in a car accident that put me without a vehicle for a little over a year. My husband has to use the car to go to work that we do have, so I have been in my own little bubble now for a LONG time.
Can I say that I am EXCITED to be getting a new-to-me vehicle for me and my three minions this tax season?!
My house always looks like a tornado came through it no matter how hard I try.
I see people posting on Facebook about their clean homes and I am envious. My house is probably clean for the 8 hours or less that my little ones sleep a night. My 7 year old helps me out a little bit because Daddy works long hours.
I work a lot even though it is from home whether it be my telecommute or virtual assistant duties, so just because I am here doesn’t mean it is going to be perfect looking and impeccably clean. Maybe this is why I put so much stress on myself. Because I am here all the time. People from the outside may come over and see my house and think I do nothing.
I need to learn to take a step back and put things in perspective. I work like everyone else. The only difference is I don’t leave the house and so during that time when I am in front of the computer working my kids are tearing my house apart versus those who leave the house during the day. They get to come home to the house the way they left it that morning.
Me on the other hand? I get to “come home” to the mayhem of a day of toddlers.
Moral is…even though I am overwhelmed now, I am taking steps to make more time for myself and not sweat that maybe the girls’ room is a wreck or that the floors are not sparkling every single day. Maybe the laundry sits in the dryer until the next day so that I can soak in a bath or read a book.
Little steps to regain my sense of not feeling so overwhelmed are coming. I will be getting back to the things that matter to me and not just worrying what others think from the outside of what my house looks like.
I am stressing over something that is like working backwards with the kids here all day. If I clean during nap, it will look the same by dinner after they have been up from their nap.
I am taking my sanity back and worrying less about the stuff that won’t matter one day, one week or one year from now!